Palin

He should have picked Michael Palin.  That Palin could have nailed McCain to his perch and then told everyone he was just sleeping. 

And then John Cleese could have said, I know a dead president when I see one. 

And then Palin could insist he's just stunned.

Happy Birthday from the State of Ohio

Today I went to get my Saabcar eCheck'd -- the emissions testing required in certain Ohio counties for Clean Air Act compliance.  I have long found it amusing that the state's way of telling you "happy birthday" is to send you a bill for your license plates and a reminder to get your emissions checked.

 

The battery died on the Saabcar a few days ago and I had to replace it.  It wouldn't hold a charge after jumping.  So, I took it in for a new battery yesterday.

 

Naturally, in changing the battery, that reset the clock, the radio presets -- and the onboard computer that is used for emissions testing.  This meant that the car had to be tested "the old fashion way" as they put it, by driving the drive wheels on a set of rollers with a sensor about the size of blowgun stuck up the tailpipe. 

 

But as I was waiting in line to pull in for my testing, I saw a gold Chrysler minivan pull around and cut in line.  I fumed.  Why is her time more valuable than mine? 

 

When I finally pulled in, I asked, mustering up first a polite but stern tone and expression on my face -- why was that van allowed to cut in line?

 

The eCheck employee explained to me that the van had pulled in once before, but because the power windows weren't working on the van, they originally declined to test the vehicle.  That the owner of the vehicle then pulled through, got out, spoke with the manager, and upon further discussion, the manager decided to allow the vehicle to be tested, and had her pull around and jump immediately to the front of the line.

 

And you know something?  That explanation actually satisfied me.  I was no longer mad.  If anything, I felt badly for that poor woman getting hassled, and also felt that the the eCheck manager ultimately did the right thing, allowing her to have her vehicle tested after, in my estimation, wrongly rejecting her from van from being tested.  So, I looked at the employee, and said, "oh, well, ok."

 

Then the employee apologized for not having told those of us in line what was going on.  "We should have done that."

 

I said that I now understood what happened, and that was fine.

More Garfield Derivitives

Lasagna Cat.

Clever

Behold the internet.  This guy has raised over $95,000 for his campaign for Kansas state representative, asking for donations of just $8.34.

Here is his clever comic strip asking for donations.

 

And an article in the WSJ.

Rush Plays "Rock Band"

Rush played Tom Sawyer on "Rock Band" and failed.

Well, I haven't played these games much, but it looks like they failed because Neil quit on them.

Still, something amusing about watching this...

http://www.colbertnation.com/?p=1657

A Year to the Day

I love you, Gina.

Three

I have a raspberry Tootsie Pop.

The New Jib Jab

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Bob's Friends are Stupid

My mobile phone just rang.  It was a number I did not recognize, but I answered it anyway.

 

Is this Bob?

 

I get calls for Bob all the time.  I have figured out, over the course of the last few months, that this Bob has the same mobile number as me, but with a 330 area code (mine is 440).

 

I was perhaps a little chilly. 

 

No.  There is no Bob here.

 

Perhaps I have the wrong number.

 

You do.

 

And I hung up.

 

Why is it so hard to know what area code your friend or business associate uses? 

 

A similar situation happened in college.  A common misdial would result in calls to Greek Life coming to my dorm room.  I eventually began taking facilities reservations, and telling the Sigma Nus that no, they cannot reserve the sand volleyball pit, and yes, I know we let the Sig Eps have it, but they are after all the Sig Eps, and you are just the Sigma Nus.  And then when they asked to speak to the head of Greek Life, I'd say she was dead, or I'd pass them off to my roommate's girlfriend (who shared the same first name), who'd then continue the ruse.

 

But I guess I've matured a little bit.  I don't urge the callers to leave messages for Bob.  I don't tell them that Bob is dead or busy giving me oral (as done in the movie "Ruthless People"), and I don't yell at them or otherwise call them names.  I don't identify myself as Bob and try to fake them out.  No, instead I blog about it. 

 

Bob -- if you are reading this, you need smarter friends.

Tuesday Talkback Redux

You asked for it, you got it -- I'm talking back.

“I want to know who died and made other people boss of what I put on my food. If I want to put ketchup on my hot dog and mustard on my hamburger, it’s because it tastes good! I don’t care if someone thinks it doesn’t ‘belong’ there! Why would you deem something inappropriate for someone else’s taste buds?” — Elyria

When did "put ketchup on my hot dog" become code for gay marriage?

“To all the business owners and churches who, along with passing out candy to kids during parades, slip in business cards and religious material. Shame on you! If we want your services, we’ll call you! Aurora July Fourth parade.” — Mantua

That watermelon Jolly Rancher wants you to go to church and visit your local independent agent for your insurance needs. There is no free candy.

“The development of corn-based ethanol as an alternative fuel will be an environmental disaster. Big Corn will plow under millions of acres of pristine grasslands and disrupt the migration patterns of prairie dogs. Also, massive corn spills will attract filthy scavenger vermin such as ravens. We must not become addicted to corn.” — Strongsville

Prairie dogs and ravens. You heard it here first. I have heard about how the energy it takes to make corn ethanol exceeding the energy we get from ethanol. I have heard about how corn ethanol production is increasing the price of corn and, by extension, food prices. But if it attracts ravens, that has to be the deal breaker.

Failed Satire: The New Yorker's Obama Cover

The New Yorker explains its latest cover:

“On the cover of the July 21, 2008, issue of the The New Yorker, in ‘The Politics of Fear,’ artist Barry Blitt satirizes the use of scare tactics and misinformation in the Presidential election to derail Barack Obama’s campaign.”

The problem here is that this cover doesn't satirize scare tactics. Nowhere on this cover is there any indication that scare tactics are being satirized. Nowhere does this cover itself suggest that they are parodying an extreme right-wing magazine or a 527 ad. This cover isn't depicted as the content of a thought bubble of a some right wing extremist or consultant, or maybe even a caricature of some "bubba" type.

Satire is sometimes misunderstood. Effective satire requires that a grain of truth underlie it. Thus, this cover would be effective satire if, for instance, there were some grain of truth to the meme that Barack Obama is a radical muslim, and that his wife is a black revolutionary. But that is not what The New Yorker is trying to say, if we take the above quote as true.

So, have I missed the point? Or has The New Yorker?

9/11 Money Scam

Watch the ad HERE.

First -- I have long been disgusted by companies that market 9/11 products. Commercial depictions of the WTC made after 9/11 are tasteless, crass and offensive.

So Liberia has issued a so-called $20 coin-certificate, non-circulating Liberian legal tender, depicting the New York skyline with the WTC on one side, and the skyline depicted with the yet-to-be-built Freedom Towers on the other side.

The ad extols how American citizens can now buy one of these coin-certificates for the "face value" of $20.

But if you look at the note at the bottom of the order form, you will see that all orders are in U.S. Dollars.

But the Liberian coin-certificate is in Liberian Dollars!

So what is the exchange rate for 20 Liberian Dollars?

About 32 cents American.

Put another way, $20 US on the open market is worth $1,260 LRD. Or about 63 Liberian twenty dollar bills.

With this offer -- you get just one Liberian Twenty -- for $20US plus $4.95 s/h!

One should expect a mark up on an item like this, but 63 times actual face value -- when the ad says you can buy it for face value (but in American Dollars) -- is nothing but a scam.

And $4.95 to ship something worth 32 cents...

Wither the Print Edition

The Plain Dealer is making changes and here is a pdf of the changes.

I like that the Sunday Forum is 6 pages again, with book reviews returning to Arts & Life. But designated apologist Ted Diadiun's column now goes to the Forum, taking up space that could be used for valuable insight and commentary.

But this is the most interesting change:

"You’ll find additional content related to our stories online, as well as full versions of the shorter, brief items we publish in the paper."

I am surprised by how they couched this. The print edition articles will be "shorter, brief items." "Full versions" are online.

I am not sure if this is forward-looking, suicidal, or both. The thing is, I've noticed for some time that some articles and features actually are longer online. Monday Moaning online, for instance, often has had extra moans at the end that don't make the print edition. Perhaps the PD is just openly embracing what has already been actual practice to some extent. Before, I just chalked this up to formatting -- I figured if a print edition item was shorter, it was just a matter of having too much content and not enough column inches.

But now it is official. If you want the "full version" and not just "brief items," don't drop 50 cents for a Plain Dealer; log onto cleveland.com and read it there for free.

Rush Limbaugh: Cat Person?

Times Magazine feature on Rush Limbaugh.

I already knew that Rush is more businessman and entertainer than conservative theorist.

I did not know that Rush shares his 24,000 square foot home with a cat.

No mention of the cat's name, or where the cat came from. No picture of the cat. There were details about his black Maybach, his tipping habits, but none about the cat.

If Rush wanted a dog, surely he would have one, or several, and have someone walk them when he's not around.

So, why a cat? We tend to associate certain things about "cat people" and "dog people" -- so is Rush a cat person? Or does he just happen to have a cat?

C'ya, C.C.

CC to the Brewers. For minor league prospects. A 27-year-old lefty Cy Young winner, and Dolan is too cheap to sign him. Don't give me that "mid-market team" crap. If you won't spend to keep or put the talent on the field, then you have no business owning a team.

Granted, CC failed to win in the ALCS last year. Will he always choke in big games? We'll watch and see, but from a distance. And Matt LaPorta's performance will be compared to CC's by Tribe fans for years to come.

No Longer a Poor Result

With the price of gas today, this dude should be thrilled to be "drivin' off the lot in a used subcompact."